Cold hands, warm shart.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
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