Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
meet me or not, i'm out of control
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
