Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
