I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
