do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Randomize
