Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
