I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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