Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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