Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
