Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
