hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
