Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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