she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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