Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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