he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
