Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
