just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Randomize
