some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
