Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
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