Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
