New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
