he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
