It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
