She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
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