yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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