Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Randomize
