Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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