Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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