Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
