Little spoons don't ask big questions
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
