I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
