No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
