I can't watch pbs sober anymore
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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