I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
