i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
