i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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