Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
