4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
