Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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