My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
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