Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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