I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
