But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
