I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Barsexuality is the new black.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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