i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
