so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
