Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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