I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
