i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
