In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
