remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
