you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
