Are we in a gay sports bar?
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
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